48 Comments
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Artemis's avatar

Adored this.

Coral Evermore's avatar

Thank you so much!!😭

Gaby Jai-Devi Brogan's avatar

This was so stunning and chilling, yet oddly hopeful. Gorgeous writing, as always!

Coral Evermore's avatar

Thank you so much!! That mean a lot, especially coming from you Gaby!! I have a lot of writing to catch up on from you!! Hopefully Sunday or early next week!! <3

Also I'm curious about the oddly hopeful aspect you saw in this? I love hearing how people interpret my work differently!!

Gaby Jai-Devi Brogan's avatar

Great question! I guess for me, the idea of some great and unknown energy is awe-inspiring. And in a weird way, somehow, it's like she's paying the price of her eyes for access to knowledge about something far beyond the human realm. Could that be a price worth paying? For me, yes. Maybe I'm just in a "fuck it" mood these days hahah but it feels like she's unlocking something, as well as maybe being trapped by it.

Coral Evermore's avatar

Oh my gosh, I love this interpretation!! And yes, her literally eyesight/eyes were a price to pay for knowledge humans aren’t meant to even comprehend.

Also I don’t know if I’m brave enough to pay that price!! Kudos to you for saying “fuck it”!!😂

J.T. Morel - Horror Author's avatar

Man I need to get back into reading gothic horror. Loved it!

Coral Evermore's avatar

Thank you so much!! And yeah, been reading some more of it myself lately. Just started Mexican Gothic. Really good so far!!

Melina Chapa's avatar

I loved that you included music to help set the ambiance even more for the reader. Also loved the mood board! I really enjoyed the story and felt it so much.

Coral Evermore's avatar

Thank you!! I love reading/writing to ambience, it’s actually a necessary part of my process!! Also the moodboard are fun to make. And I’m so glad you enjoyed the story!!🖤

E.R.Dyal's avatar

Just the type f gothic I like, atmospheric.

Coral Evermore's avatar

Thank you so much!! Really glad you enjoyed the gothic atmosphere🖤

Rosie's avatar

This is so cool! What a great piece of writing, you can really sense the mood and the atmosphere

Coral Evermore's avatar

Thank you so much!! Really glad you enjoyed the mood and atmosphere!! :)

Qibra's avatar

This was really well-written Coral! It made me think of the inner eye. And how at night, our eyes are closed but we still dream in vivid images. Perhaps when we close these eyes, that's when another world opens up.

Coral Evermore's avatar

Thank you so much!!🖤

And there was definitely a lot of inspiration from eyes/blindless and knowledge. It was fun to use the divine to play with that horror!!

Caroline Beuley's avatar

No need to practice setting anymore haha! You nailed it!! I love a vine twisting around a crumbling building

Coral Evermore's avatar

Thank you so much!! I had a lot of fun with this haha And me too!! Spooky vines coiling around an old palace?? YES.

Kelly Xan's avatar

I was so into the description of this terrifying, darkly magical place that by the time I got to "where her own eyes had once been", I jumped back 80 feet in my chair. REALLY well done. A very immersive, captivating style - it easily transports the reader 💜

Coral Evermore's avatar

LMAO sorry to have spooked you like that!! It was scary for me to imagine!!😅

Thank you so much for reading!!💜💜💜

Horror Hangouts's avatar

I love the use of description and the accompanied music heightens the atmosphere.

Coral Evermore's avatar

Thank you so much!! Glad you enjoyed the music!!

A.O. Homorodean's avatar

I like it. The line ‘Here God is blind’ already sets the mood. A continuation would be interesting.

Coral Evermore's avatar

Thank you so much!! And yes, I might have to expand on this one!!

J.A. Evans's avatar

Something about your writing struck me while I was reading this. You do a really interesting thing where you walk the line between modern and classical writing style. No one would mistake you for Hemmingway, but no one would mistake you for Dickens either.

Coral Evermore's avatar

Thank you!! To be honest I think I’ve been leaning much more towards the older style lately, but I think that’s because my settings have been explicitly in the past. I do love both Hemingway and Dickens though!!

J.A. Evans's avatar

I haven’t seen any multi page descriptions of Londan yet.

Barbara Graver's avatar

I liked it! The setting was really captivating.

Coral Evermore's avatar

Thank you!! I love a good dark palace setting with cosmic horror undertones🖤

A Writer’s Voice's avatar

This is amazing! You are so talented!

Coral Evermore's avatar

!!! Thank you so much!!!😭🖤

A Writer’s Voice's avatar

😊

Keegan L.'s avatar

I love love love the parallel between the engraving on the door saying “Here God is blind” yet the voices are saying “Be not afraid” which is what every angel in the Bible says when revealing themselves to a human.

The setting work was great too. Rather than the woman being the main character, the crawling vines, the door, and the voices all become their own characters.

Love this so so much.

Coral Evermore's avatar

Thank you so much!!

I don’t think I even realized that parallel was there until you pointed it out!!

But yes, I kind of found the horror in Biblical imagery. Especially the Biblically accurate angels!!

Also, I love a good palace setting😌🖤

Keegan L.'s avatar

Even if it was an accident, it came out very nicely.

There is something that kind of gives Eldritch horror about many things in the Bible that lots of people don’t bring up (I unfortunately know due to a forced evangelical upbringing).

Like in Job, God gets super pissed off, turns himself into a tornado, and picks up Job to show him Behemoth and Leviathan which are described as these unfathomably large, powerful, and terrifying monsters. THAT’S HORRIFYING lol

And in Revelations? Like you said, the higher ranking angels are straight up gyroscopic wheels covered in eyeballs with thousands of wings that are on fire.

But I digress lol clearly I love a good cosmic horror.

Coral Evermore's avatar

Agreed!! There really is an Eldritch horror to it!! And I’m not an evangelical Christian (my dad is though) but I actually do want to go through the Bible at some point because it honestly has a lot of weird stuff. I did get through some of the Old Testament and that was…interesting…(Lot and his daughters)

Keegan L.'s avatar

Yeah there’s a ton of weird stuff in there (a man sleeping with his brother’s widow is smote after pulling out, a bear kills a bunch of kids, etc.)

I feel like if you went through it, you’d likely get a ton of horror story inspiration lol

Dblkrose of BSP's avatar

An unearthed psalm from a broken cathedral. The language glows faintly with rot, reverent and terrible all at once.

Coral Evermore's avatar

Thank you so much!! I’m so glad it emits the intended vibes!!😌🖤