13 Comments
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Roger Browne's avatar

self-aware, unable to feel. we must fix him! thanks for the story, quite enjoyed it!

Coral Evermore's avatar

Thank you so much!! I felt bad for him, but he’s also pretty aware of what’s going on haha

Joseph Jordan Washington's avatar

That is great writing. I hope it’s not all you wrote. That needs to be explored further. If a novel, this sounds like it would be somewhere in the second of three acts.

Coral Evermore's avatar

Haha sadly, for this specific story and these characters, it is all I wrote. It was a pretty quick write for a prompt I found compelling.

I didn’t realize this had potential beyond its microfiction format. Perhaps I shall revisit it🤔🤔🤔

Thank you so much for reading!!

Joseph Jordan Washington's avatar

You ever seen the movie “Bicentennial Man” starring Robin Williams? One of my absolute favorites, if not—check it out. It might give you an idea of what I mean.

And you are very welcome.

Coral Evermore's avatar

Nooooo I haven’t seen that film but now I really want to because love Robin Williams!!

Thank you for the recommendation :)

Joseph Jordan Washington's avatar

Please do. You will not be dissatisfied 😁

Joshua Bader's avatar

I would love to see more of this.

Coral Evermore's avatar

To be honest, I hadn’t though of anything beyond this moment. I’m sure it could be expanded, but we shall see🤔

Thank you so much for reading!!🖤

Samira EG ᢉ𐭩's avatar

I really liked the musical accompaniment. Really helped supplement the somber, contemplative mood of the piece!

Coral Evermore's avatar

Thank you!! I always try to add ambient music to my stories since I really care about immersion while writing and even while reading!! :)

𝕱𝖗𝖆𝖓𝖐𝖊𝖓𝖂𝖗𝖎𝖙𝖊𝖗's avatar

This makes me think of a modern Pygmalion. Really enjoyed the piece.

Coral Evermore's avatar

Thank you so much!! I could definitely see the connection to Pygmalion. Thanks for reading <3