Consumption Becomes You
A gothic romance tale about a woman at the deathbed of her "very special friend"
Author’s Note: This my entry for the Day 28 Prompt of Bradley Ramsey’s The Halls of Pandemonium. Today’s dialogue-only writing challenge gave me a good excuse to work out my creative writing muscles as I focus on researching for my novel. I still needed to do a little bit for this piece, but it was nothing too time consuming (no pun intended). This piece was heavily inspired by Carmilla as well as the Victorian era epidemic of tuberculosis.
Read while listening for maximum immersion🎧
“As much as it utterly breaks my heart to see you in such a state, I daresay that consumption becomes you.”
“Matilda…?”
“Shh, don’t speak. I beg of you not strain that sweet voice on my account. Only hear what it is I have to say, for I’m afraid you must be forced to endure my company a little while longer.”
“Please do, I think I should like…to hear your voice…as I sleep…”
“You know I am but a humble servant to your wishes, that cannot be helped. This rosiness that has adorned your cheeks and complimented your complexion, I know what it means. Forgive me, I do not mean to frighten you. But…you do know how very dear you are to me, don’t you? Are you not after all, my very special friend? Ah, I see that I have coaxed a smile from those sullen features. This gladdens me.
I admit that I have not been entirely truthful. I have been your admirer for quite some time, from before our first introduction. You have inspired songs within me that I had never known were there, not until you revealed yourself as the key. You must know—and I am quite sure that perhaps you do—how much I love you. I do not want to embarrass you, but it must be said.
Lie back down now, for you will only aggravate the coughing fits more!
Oh, Ada. Your hands, they burn so much that it warms even these cold hands of mine. How is it that such a sweet soul, one that illuminates outward to manifest into your most singular beauty, how is it that my affection for you only grows? Are my words making you tint with a deeper red? That color is most tempting. I don’t know how much longer can I resist it.”
“I don’t underst—”
“Hush now. As I said, do not exert yourself on my account. All you need to do now is listen. You are not likely to recover. From the moment your blood stained that handkerchief, God had cruelly decided to tear you from me. Darling, I fear that I most selfishly cannot live without you.
Though you must be anxious to meet with your Heavenly Father, I beg of you, please, stay with me. I can take away all that ails you, we can create a Heaven of our own, where we can do what we like as we like. I will be even more devoted to you than I already am, once we are joined together, body and soul. All I ask is that you answer me this one question—just this one—and I swear that, should you deny me, I will leave you to be with God.
Now, will you answer me?”
“...”
“Do you want to live?”
“...”
“Ada?”
“I…I do…”
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formatting and prose choices here are top tier. you completely nailed the gothic undertones and made the whole scene feel incredibly immersive and tragic. really great work on this
WOW I love how you've done this! The music is PERFECT with the story!